Dear Dad…

Dear Dad,

My jaanuuuuu! what’s up? I miss you already. This place feels so foreign without you staying along with me for a day or two. Yo, I wanted to ask you something.. How the hell do you manage everything? like EVERYTHING? and the trust you have in me? haha, i never had that amount of trust on me. not now, not ever. Do you remember the time when you came along with me for my registration for B.Tech 1st year? haha, we were kids enough then. how you didn’t let go of my hand as if you are leaving your 2 year old in a kindergarden. we were both crying. the hostel warden had to come and pull us apart and assure you everything will be fine. Dad, why did you stand 2 hours outside my class on my first day? because you knew i was worried? Thinking about that still makes me cry. Why didn’t you ever tell me to book a cab and come home from the airport? why do you drive 1 hour all the way from home to RGIA everytime? because you knew I would love to see you and hug you? You do miss me sleeping beside you and  listening to my drama filled words, don’t you? Why do you always fly along with  me to Chennai and then fly to your work place instead of just fly from Hyderabad to your workplace? Because you knew I would cry if not? When my friends say their parents wont let them go on trips, outing after 9 P.m, not to spend lots of money etc I always wonder how you never put a limit. How you always supported me when I had fights in college instead of telling me to stay put just because I’m a girl. They say i got your smile and nose. They say I’m as stubborn and challenging as you. I feel so proud about it. i know you feel too :P.   I must admit I secretly love your stupid jokes.  For all the deep conversations at 2 A.M and motivations. Thanks for all of them. For all the times we fooled mom, cheers to the best dad and daughter. Why’d you never say no when i say i want new clothes though you know wardrobes at home are flooding with my clothes? Because you knew that would make me the happiest person on the earth? Remember when I asked you I wanted a “birthday on wheels” on my 18th Birthday and we roamed all Hyderabad till 3 A.m? Why’d you not say no though you were fucking tired? Because you didn’t wanna disappoint me?  For all the times you switched off the WIFI, did you want to talk to me? My friends ask me why I never order fish when we all go out to restaurant though i love it, I hate you for feeding me fish always by yourself.. now I don’t know how to eat it without you carefully taking off all the gills. And this time when you couldn’t make it up to Chennai along with me, why’d i see a tear drop fall off? I miss our bull fight Bondu, Bwahahahaha what is age even? Dad, even today when I’m 18 years done with my life I can’t move a single step, make a single decision without you.. And I would say the same when I’m 81 years old because you are my strength, my weakness, my hero, my wholehearted-laugh, my stress reliever, my EVERYTHING! There’s a lot lot lottttttt to tell but you know i’m too emotional for this and i’m done. ah.

love,

your Xerox copy aka your chitti thalli aka your precious aka your appe.

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Masks OFF!

Come

Sit

Spread your legs

Relax your shoulders

Breath out all that is bad

Start Striping

Not your body

Your soul

And not with your hands

But with your words

Remove that foundation of hope

Eyeliner of ego

Kohl of anger

Lipstick of lust

Blush of love

Come lets take our Masks OFF

and talk

With no filters

And no offence

Lets talk about our mistakes

Our lies

Our fears

And our regrets

Lets peel off that mask

We adorn

For the society

And LET’S LIVE?

For once?

mask

A Letter to my Soulmate.

Hey

Shit face,

How you doing? Hope you doing just as worse as u always do…

Can i just change the name from Shit face to soulmate? it is kinda huge, isn’t it? it’s not like i’m unaccustomed to the concept of soulmates, but i believed it’s just confined to the books. Then, Just then, u came into my life just to teach certain bonds are which words can never describe. Who would have thought? that a piece of shit like you would actually matter more than anyone else? who would have thought that the random fake smile can heavy your heart , a bit more for even the idea of them leaving u? who would have thought that “i’m taking your mobile to just go through gallery” can go to random grab and spamming people? who would have thought that a random sarcastic jokes turn to “WE ARE RETARD GOALS AF”

With you, i never felt like i’m talking to a stranger, it’s like meeting the same old friend again! The all of sudden fights, the all of sudden laughs, the synk of similarities, the all of sudden i’m hungry, let’s go get something , the all of sudden “i’ll miss you ! ” kinda sentimental  talks, the all of sudden “i love you OK? ” kinda love,  the all of sudden “i’m not gonna go, if u ain’t coming” kinda black mail, the all of sudden cheesy chats, the 4 AM calls, the all of sudden “we will be permanent roommates” kinda future plans. everything, every. single. thing.

so let me just be sweet for once, i’m blessed to have a bond with you which books talk about and  which rarely exist and i bet no one can ever experience the love we have for each other ! And lemme just tell you i love you so much and i’ll always be there for you, waiting behind the closed violet door, peeping through the yellow frame.

So leggo mate ! let’s have some yet to come *peaceful* days and a Pondy for sure 😛

Love

your soulmate (and your one and only best friend ! i know i’m worth it ! 😛 )

 

read my previous blog here 😀

AMAZING LIFE!

Life being such a roller coaster ride.. we all want to ride it just safe and get  to the stop point.But did you ever think how it would be to make it a bit kinky? a bit more interesting?a bit more crazy?

after a roller coaster ride,we go home and tell our cousins and friends how was the experience.. the only way, social media! so what do u tell them?

“guess what…we had gone on a roller coaster ride today.. and it was amazing!”.in what way is it amazing? doing the daily chores exactly the way you planned it? having all the tasks done on TO DO list is amazing? going to college,coming back to hostel,using social media,having dinner,sleep.. is amazing? going no where and just posting Instagram stories and making people believe that you are having an amazing life when u r actually not, is amazing? the compliment from lecturers “she’s such a disciplined girl/boy”is amazing? not at all falling in love is amazing?

if you think any of the above is just enough for an amazing life.. you can stop reading my blog 😐

this isn’t what we call amazing life..

get to have a best friend whom you can share every single happiness,sadness with, get to have friends of other language and other culture so this way you develop! trust me 🙂   , have relationships that sweep you off your feet and change your every view,have a group of friends so that you can just point out at people and make them awkward(and they join you).

Read, learn and stimulate your brain, because you  don’t wanna regret it later!study real hard because some day may be you wanna be sumptuous, buy  stuff ON YOUR OWN.stop being afraid and motivate yourself.

Travel to different places every now and then, talk to strangers.Get to know people,deeper than whats on the surface,deeper than favorite foods and music.what makes your brain tick?what makes your heart skip beats?what makes your soul glow? get to know everything.

when you find someone beautiful or their work beautiful , just tell them.

dance your heart out,because when you are late 70’s and u don’t wanna regret.

Put your “i want tos” into acts. have some fantasies.. fairy lights,dream catchers,royal enfield bikes.

Wear beautiful dresses,go to parties,dance, drink,live the moment.

Get to love someone truly. Get your heart broken once atleast,its fine.Get excited about the stars,get excited about having a crush,talk about missing someone.when someone means a lot,hug them! its a silent way of saying ‘you matter to me’.like someone without any reason,because when that reason is gone,your heart will change too. like people because you are you.go on dates, with the people worthy!

Follow the 5 by 5 rule.

Make an effort,its attractive.

Never give someone priority 1 because no one is worth it,they don’t respect you, move on.

Talk to your mom and dad daily, you never know how much they have to tell you.

Maintain a good profile, in social media as well as  your resume.

Don’t just be confined to studies and social media,this social media is so cold and cruel,we are so close to the info and so far from people…because life is a lot more than just grades,likes and comments..

And the dandelion does not stop growing because it is told it is weed.

the dandelion does not care what others see

it says “one day, they’ll be making wishes upon me”.

RANDOM THOUGHTS!

screenshot-9||PRIDE OF SELF||
I’ve made disastrous decisions,
I’ve loved heartless people,
I’ve given too much to those who deserved nothing,
but what i take pride in,is that I’ve never done anything half heartedly.

||LOVE? YES.||
How long will i be hanging from those parachutes of bliss?
will you be the wind?
can our love be pleasant ocean beneath?
carry me through this life my love and i promise to always stay beside.

||I MISS||
i miss the person i was before i met you,
before you made me suffer, and before the sufferings you put me through, changed me.

||WHAT IF||
What if i cared a bit less?
What if i didn’t like you?
What if i didn’t think about you just before i go to bed and as soon as i wake up?
What if i didn’t get attached to you?
What if you were not known?
What if i say you literally mean everything at this point of time?
What if i say chocolate reminds me of you?
What if i say your smile is my favorite?
what if?

||PYAAR||

In vain have i struggled.
it will not do.
my feelings will not be repressed.
you must allow me to tell you how ardently i admire and love you.

i have for the first time found what i can truly love..
i have found you,MOM.

All i can say is that
you make me…
you make me into someone i couldn’t
even imagine.
you make me happy,
even when you are awful.

“it was love at first sight,at last sight, at ever and ever sight.”

“he was like a song i’d hear once in fragments but had been singing in my mind ever since.”

any one who is in love is making love
the whole time,
even when they are not,
when the two bodies meet, it is just the cup overflowing.

i must have wished for you so hard and so often you had no choice but to come true.

hello peeps! 😀
been soooo long.. i know, hope you enjoy reading RANDOM THOUGHTS! and relate yourself..
u related? then hit a like and comment how did u feel reading..
clicked?
thanks :*
see you soon..

I.N.C

how would it feel when you constantly have this fear in you that you look ugly?

how would it feel when you are constantly pulled aside by people?

how would it feel when you don’t get the marks you expected in your semester exams?

how would it feel when people get far away from you?

how would it feel when you got to know that the person you liked the most doesn’t do it back?

and so on… there are so many painful themes of daily life which makes your life more complicated, more depressed. aaaand the reason for all of the above mentioned and all of those not mentioned is just one thing, we all know that… CARING MUCH!!

she cared way way much about all her friends, treated every one more than they could deserve for their stupidness. she never was a jealous,selfish human being when it came to her friends. now people made her!

she’s not the way she used to be before, changed .. completely.. that you could never recognize. she began to love herself, she began to carenot kind of attitude,she never needed close one’s now because she’s happy with herself. she became……

INDEPENDENT

NO EXPLANATION kind

CARE less…

this is what made her happy… she now is independent,she don’t need a friend who could help her in autoCAD. she now don’t need a friend who she used to want to always stay by and listen to her sorrows.. she now no need to beg on people to help her out in 3D sketching..she now don’t need to please some one to come along to the stores to buy a chocolate.she now don’t need to be back of anyone to text her,she now no need to explain about anything to anyone,she now no need to tell all of her secrets to her so called close mates.her heart now is a ocean full of secrets ,but that’s ok! shes happy now because the secret will never be out. yet she got a closest mate god could ever give,MOM.

she started being happy, the reason.. she started caring less.. she wanted to make herself busy these holidays,not to think about all those ass hole past moments. she thought of attending some music classes for some pleasant ness, she thought of improving her skills(shh…) , she thought of spending less time on social media, more time talking to her parents and playing.she overall thought of being more productive these holidays…

and here i am writing my first ever blog.. i know at few cases it sucked.. but i promise i’ll improve.. Harshitha Kurra. please do like,comment ,subscribe 😛 😀